He started not to talk to me. When I tried to initiate a conversation, he would turn his back to me. I then started to talk, he would stand up and walk away– go to the kitchen to get water, use the toilet. Just to run away from me.
If I sit beside him on a sofa, he would inch himself away from me. If I take a seat next to his chair, he would move his chair far away from me and said, ‘I need space. I need air.’ There is no way to talk to him.
I keep what I need to say short and to the point, down to logistics and bills. He grunts every time I talk to him. Not even a yes or a no. A grunt. Only grunts. Can you imagine? I am less than an animal to him!
I tried to text him. No reply. His whatsapp does not show blue ticks. Just no replies. Will you come back for dinner? No reply. Do you need the car tomorrow? No reply. When will you be back tonight? there is soup for you. No reply. Dylan’s birthday party is this Sunday, will you go with us? No reply. Can you fucking answer me!! no. go without me, he replied.
This is just so hurtful and do you do this to the one you love? The one you spent nights after nights talking about how a beautiful future promises? The one you vowed to love until the day we leave this earth? The one who left her homeland and family to be with you against all odds? The one who put up with the most difficult mother-in-law and took care of her until the day she passed on? The one who went through maddening pains and almost died giving birth to two babies bearing your name?
It was my birthday and I got a call early in the morning confirming delivery. Oh I thought maybe he still remembered my birthday and planned a surprise for me after all. When the courier came the flowers and chocolate were from my bestie, not from him! How damn disappointing! There were no cakes, no presents, no birthday song, no flowers. Nothing. He got up and went to work. Never came back until late, late at night.
What did I have yesteryears? Flowers, a trip to exotic places I had never been, a nice dinner, chocolate cakes, diamond, gold, cruise holiday. He would remember my birthday and planned something specially for me. He used to be sweet like that. But not anymore.
I have only one conclusion: He doesn’t love me anymore. He hates me.